(no subject)
Jun. 19th, 2013 07:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stealsyourteaToday has been a bad day. I can't even say a stressful day. Since most of my stress can be banished watching a bit of Youtube or Animal Crossing.
Why is it a bad day? It a combo of stress, arguments and other things that built up. I had a long rambly post about pretty much everything....Except, I deleted. Which one one part is a good becuase there were so many unpleasant topics that I touched on. Most of which would need some triggers warnings. The other part was that I didn't want to do what usually happens if I go down the long angsty road of remembrance. It usually involves non stop crying which end up bringing up more bad memories. Of course, I still feel like crying, but Idon't want to. I already know once I start I won't be able to stop until the next day. Then, the next day, I will feel awful and just want to curl up into a little ball to sleep.
I don't want that to happen since it's my Mom's birthday tomorrow. I want to be able to celebrate my Mom's birth day without breaking into a sobbing mess.
I know that holding in either things that bothers me is terrible, but I don't know what else to do. I need to be strong for my family. Well, it 's more for my mother since I know what would happen if I break down. Right, I honestly wish that I had taken the chance of leaving my family behind when I had the money and strength to do so.
I"m going to take a nap or something to see if my mood improves. Or at least stop the sobbing fit that wants to settle in
Why is it a bad day? It a combo of stress, arguments and other things that built up. I had a long rambly post about pretty much everything....Except, I deleted. Which one one part is a good becuase there were so many unpleasant topics that I touched on. Most of which would need some triggers warnings. The other part was that I didn't want to do what usually happens if I go down the long angsty road of remembrance. It usually involves non stop crying which end up bringing up more bad memories. Of course, I still feel like crying, but Idon't want to. I already know once I start I won't be able to stop until the next day. Then, the next day, I will feel awful and just want to curl up into a little ball to sleep.
I don't want that to happen since it's my Mom's birthday tomorrow. I want to be able to celebrate my Mom's birth day without breaking into a sobbing mess.
I know that holding in either things that bothers me is terrible, but I don't know what else to do. I need to be strong for my family. Well, it 's more for my mother since I know what would happen if I break down. Right, I honestly wish that I had taken the chance of leaving my family behind when I had the money and strength to do so.
I"m going to take a nap or something to see if my mood improves. Or at least stop the sobbing fit that wants to settle in
no subject
Date: 2013-06-20 07:51 am (UTC)If you feel you need to get away from your family, there will definitely be other chances to do so. Take care of yourself first. *extra hugs and pie*
no subject
Date: 2013-06-22 03:33 am (UTC)